Welcome to Earth, the junk capital of the universe. You’re probably wondering what happened to the humans, yeah? Goddamn aliens showed up, the humans blew themselves up, and then the Aliens set up a blockade around the solar system to contain whatever was left. Much good that did humanity, as they are a relic of the past just like all those burned out cities and cracked roads. Mutantkind rules the roost now—an amalgam of humans, aliens, and who knows what else from across the unknown stars with just the right spice of radioactive fallout mixed in. The planet is mostly just left alone now. But every once and a while those aliens stop by the old brown marble to dump their garbage here, and we get unexploded bombs and political dissidents. Earth is now the universe’s combo junkyard and prison colony. And us mutants speed around the blasted landscape on CARZ, souped up junkers made of hybrid alien garbage and old human tech. Listen to them purr! Smell the exhaust! Feel the wind! Gotta cherish your life while you still have it, y’know?

Looking down at us and laughing are the Lunars, weird snobs who live on the Moon. Every night their shining paradise glows down at us, and we drink and spit and flick them off. They never really show their punchable faces down here planet side, except if they see some choice garbage they wanna send an army to haul back up to their god forsaken hellhole of shining chrome and clean water. Well, that’s the history tour. You should find yourself a ride, and quick. Otherwise you’re gunna be roadkill.